ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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