Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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