I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i've created a new STD.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
