Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize