I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
