My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
