And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
