i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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