He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize