3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
