I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize