The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
