I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
