dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
