I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
