I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
