I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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