He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
