so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
