Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize