chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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