hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
