Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize