You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
