Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
