Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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