It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize