my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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