Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Fuck appropriateness.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
