please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
