I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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