Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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