What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
