Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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