Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
