you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
