Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
