Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
