do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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