Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
