So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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