i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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