wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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