She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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