Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
