don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize