Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize