I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
