Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
