im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my shit smells like andre
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
