i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
