I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
