never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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