he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
