i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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