i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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