How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
