i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Do vagina's smell?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
