How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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