Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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