he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
