so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
