do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This toilet bowl is my home.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize