So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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