Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize